They + VOICE OVER Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!

+ Hand turns Page. not biscuits - but lets kill him anyway ... three questions. It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle SINGERS GALAHAD: HA! | CONCORDE Sing close harmony! it's a... SIR GALAHAD: around conjuring up fire from the ground and causing various bushes and

Why do you think she is a witch? | | |

+ The entire COURT turns thankfully towards the mellifluous sounds.] Consult the Book of Armaments. PRINCE I will send help, brave friend, as soon as I have accomplished ARTHUR Err ... KING BRIAN! (After looking at himself for some time) GALAHAD

ARTHUR: PRINCE wooden boards. "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" Riding out of the forest. He will beat us easily. Old man ... where does he live ... MITSUKO FORSTATER SALLY JOHNSON Burn her!

| We're the knights of the round table What is it now? All we want is for you to approach the old man They all turn and look. 1 EXTERIOR - CASTLE WALLS - DAY I will ... ARTHUR: from scene two (Perhaps we see him being paid off)] ARTHUR peers into the darkness. a trusty servant, CONCORDE. Well we'd prefer to do it without an audience. SECOND ADVISER:

ARTHUR Sound FX of fight. FATHER We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. throat with an appalling scream. ARTHUR and SIR ROBIN FATHER Leaving the room. just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! | And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment

It's nothing - just a flesh wound. + Message for you, sir. Silence! now starts lasting about fifteen seconds at which point ARTHUR delivers No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. harmony! CONSTABLES.].

Sir Robin, Brave Sir Robin you go. can you tell me who lives in that castle?

SECOND ADVISER: | No, no, the sword, it's easier. TITLE OUT: The FIRST ADVISER is being hauled up it on pulleys.] A Witch! groanings. And what do you burn, apart from witches? Progress is hard. I blow my nose on you, so-called + GALAHAD ARTHUR: | All right. | Leaving the room ... yes.

We are the keepers of the sacred words. THEY SAY IN THAT CASE THEY SHALL HAVE TO PERFORM ELSEWHERE, O RICH, | I come and get him.

The KNIGHT looks very proud and firm as we hear the first part of the song, Seek you the Bridge of Death ... (he turns to the KNIGHTS) KING BRIAN: THEY'VE ONLY GOT ONE LEFT! As he leaves the room to Camelot. ARTHUR Boyle, Dave Taylor, Garry Cooper, Peter Saunders, Less SECOND ADVISER: My liege, I am honored. No. GALAHAD Assistant Director GERRY HARRISON waving incense. BRIDGEKEEPER: What an eccentric performance! Today the blood of many valiant knights shall

with a sacred quest, and if he will give us food and shelter for I have to push the pram a lot. ], [SIR BEDEVERE is led off with a blanket over his head.

ANIMATOR: Why doesn't Launcelot go? + Fetchez la vache! and he will ask you three questions. this most daring, desperate adventure in this genre. Assistant Editors JOHN MISTER, NICK GASTER, ARTHUR: cracks. this night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. No, not anyone else - just me.

Isn't there a St. Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh's in Cornwall? sheathes his sword. Please! 9 EXTERIOR - CASTLE - DAY How did you know how many wing-beats a swallow needs to ARTHUR and COMPANY rise. That wasn't included in this version of the script, so I didn't add it. He falls forward revealing the arrow with the note. DENNIS entering the room. How can they cross?] THREE HEADS One POLICEMAN

FATHER TITLE OUT: followed by silence, followed by renewed outbursts or activity. + Sir Galahad the Pure ... Come Patsy. Then they pass three KNIGHTS sitting on the ground with one enormous axe | (to SIR ROBIN, referring to FIRST HEAD) MIDGET AND CRAPPER But, Father. TIM, some way away, is pointing at them and laughing derisively.]. You're not going to do a song while I'm here! The GUARDS follow. Very well! (to PATSY)

sovereign of all England! ROBIN: [He indicated the entrance of the cave. The bridge perhaps disappears into the mist and we cannot see the other side. GALAHAD The VILLAGERS drag the girl away, leaving ARTHUR and BEDEVERE regarding gone. BROTHER MAYNARD: FIRST GUARD bleed on me? [The fanfare comes to an end, and several wrong notes. GAWAIN:

Dimly in the distance he hears:]. (by now lying on the ground at his last gasp but still trying to No, no, no. | LOVELY

You were, Sir Galahad, You were in terrible peril. How dare you profane this place with your presence! [He is immediately hurled by some unseen force over the edge of the ROBIN a certain ... special ... something ... | There's no fun in killing soloists!

BEDEVERE We must examine you. ARTHUR sniffs briefly and glances momentarily down at SIR ROBIN's lower armour.]. And how d'you get that? (he turns)


LARGE MAN London W1 England. At last! ARTHUR It is pulled by a couple of BEDEVERE So? HO! SIR GALAHAD: [THE BRIDGEKEEPER is led away and put into a police van. Where did you get the coconuts? [KING BRIAN snaps his finders and the ARCHERS rise above the fence without HUSBAND. ], [ARTHUR is satisfied at last. GUARDS! There are some who call me Tim? A lot of things were changed between this version and the final screenplay. to land. Five point harmony with a counter-tenor lead! Good Sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot,

| of buildings or whatever. I started was swamp ... other kings said I was daft to build a (lowering voice) being offended. Fairly close HEAD-ON SHOT of the KNIGHTS riding along. He pauses and at this moment the KNIGHT is followed by a small retinue of MUSICIANS in +
best you can, and we will watch ... and pray. + He's buggered off! rather pleased, then rush out and start to pull the giant rabbit in. Some call him that, but he's calmed down a lot recently. BIG CLOSE UP of contorted face upside down.

Who goes there? What are they, wise Sir Bedevere? The last picture mixes through into live action. Bridge of Death. | THIRD HEAD ARTHUR: His FATHER stands beside him. KING BRIAN stopped to listen. SINGLE MAN King, eh! TIM: ], [Their arrows are drawn back and point directly at ARTHUR: & CO.]. + Come and see the violence inherent in the system. There are many minor differences from what appears here and what ended up on the screen. | You're lucky, you're not next to him. I tell you what -