I can't go to the mall. Jane Lane: Well, now that I think about it I may not have actually told him they were for my statue, but he should have known!

But just on a crazy whim, I think I'll go home and watch TV by myself. Jodie Abigail Landon: Come on, Brittany. Kevin Thompson: You know, Daria, I really liked hanging out at your house and working on the maze thing.

And I'm so defended that I actively work to make people dislike me, so I won't feel bad when they do. Tomorrow, I'll emerge and begin my new life as a waitress. Jane #2: I wish I had pores like yours, Daria! Daria Morgendorffer: Yeah, but I just figured you were above all that.

No piercing required!

Jane: Who here wants to slip me a 20 to point out the popular tables so you can start fighting for a seat now? Mrs. Manson: That's a different test, dear. No piercing required! Jane Lane: I know, that was kind of pathetic! Eh. Quinn: OK, Daria's talking, so I have to leave now. Just... look. That *was* pretty inconsiderate. Thick ones. [Jane pats her forehead in an "ah, jeez" gesture.

[Sobbing] He's dead! How's your day going?

Mr. O'Neill: But you know what's interesting? Here you go! You know what they say, "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down". Mr. O'Neill: Is he a big unhappiness freak? Daria: Well, you could show me how to twirl hair around my little finger and look vacant. Daria: I'm not really sure I want to be a professional student.

Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie: Yeah. And bury your body in this dress. She knew just what I needed: [Lifts object out of box] Practice boobs. Ms. Claire Defoe: Good work, Daria. Helen Morgendorffer: Quinn says he's just a nice, young man who wants a date, and the rest of it's in her friend, Sandi's head... improbable as that sounds. Daria: Can I see what she'd look like with eyebrow ridges and a large, sloping forehead? Daria: Great. Anybody home in that rotting bag of flesh? Mr. Timothy O'Neill: So you see, girls, I don't want to change the intent of your poster, I just want to make it more "palatable'. Daria: Between Dad and the party van, life's become a living hell at home and at school. Tricia Gupty: It can turn you into a zombie, Daria.

Daria: I feel great. We'll be back for a second set.

Jane: Sorry, no vacancies. Jane Lane: Yeah, some part of me knows that. The Morgendorffers were kind enough to take me in after my real family was exterminated by the mob. Daria Morgendorffer: Yeah. Daria: That's another habit that'll lead to blindness, Upchuck. What can she possibly need for six G's, other than a new personality? Quinn Morgendorffer: I don't know. We started to get bored with each other. Quinn: Mom, I need your help.

Remain calm. Jane: Never mind.

Daria: Your personal space is the final frontier, Upchuck. The series ran from March 3, 1997 to January 21, 2002 on MTV. Jane Lane: Or succeed in finding it a waste of time. What's everyone making such a big deal about? I'm going to stick it in my boots, 'cuz I love the squishy, squishy feeling 'round my toes.

Jake: Do you have any idea how many rules you've broken? If you ask for Theresa in Junior 5 and tell her it's for Quinn, she'll help you out. Daria Morgendorffer: Oh, I just think of it as being a witness to history. She wears those straw hats. Ms. Angela Li: We found part of the poster unacceptable, so it was altered prior to it's entry. Speed-walkers have thick skins. "Daria Quotes." And, uh, talk your wife into finding a new speed-walking route. What kind of town is this? Thanks for your vote! Get used to being around fashion types. Jodie Abigail Landon: Hey, you guys wanna buy tickets for the faculty-DJ roller hockey game? Jane: You know, being a post-apocalyptic town is going to be cool. But your mother is a lawyer.

No betrayals.

Daria Morgendorffer: Good. Daria: Well, thank you Brittany. Daria: Only Quinn could turn having brains into a fad. Daria Morgendorffer: Okay, where's your evil twin?

Who cares who wins? We're modeling! No note, no phone call, no nothing!

Psh! Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: [Helen, Jake and Quinn are all offscreen, leaving the house] Meeting! Quinn: [pushes door open against Jane] All right, I'm afraid! Family's gone mad. Jane Lane: I think this could really be it! Jane: When they say "you're always unhappy Daria", what they mean is: "You think Daria, I can tell because you don't smile. Even your imaginary friends are embarrassing. Daria: [Daria is seated on her bed, reading from a script; the camera is on a tripod pointed at Jane] And then you open the window and say, "Life is a meaningless descent into the void." Quinn: [Breathy] Whatever, I've got my own problems.

STANDS4 LLC, 2020.

Kevin Thompson: [Off screen] Oh, my God! Helen Morgendorffer: Amy, Roger passed away. Mr. Anthony DeMartino: Why Brittany, that's the most intelligent question you've asked all year. Helen: Wow. Jodie Abigail Landon: Hey! She needs six thousand dollars' worth of plastic surgery! I'm trying to fulfill my potential. Dad! This year, he's more determined than ever to snatch victory from the jaws of death. Just tell loverboy we want our yearbook back! Maybe a bright kid like Daria would have a better attitude. Her sister... Ms. Angela Li: - her "cousin" needs to see her. All I can say is that I hope you have a darn good defense lawyer. I bet if I got some boobs on credit, I can get the rest of the money in no time. Hey...!

Jake Morgendorffer: Stranger than us? Quinn Morgendorffer: I mean, sometimes I'm walking down the hall with Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany, and suddenly I'm outside of myself, watching, and it's, like, "Who are these girls? Daria: See, cupid shot mom and dad full of love so I'd help him get these guys back to holiday island. [points at self]. I wouldn't mind going out for a while. Daria Morgendorffer: ...and I don't mind working double shifts at the gene splicing lab until you make it. I'm down here! Mr. Timothy O'Neill: The Ides aren't people, they're a time of the month. They wouldn't know edgy if it bit them in the butt! Daria: What? Jake Morgendorffer: Say, honey... you don't think we should be worried about this stalker guy, do you? Andrea: Aren't you even a *little* worried that there might be a Hell? I need Hot Cheetos and a fifth of whiskey. Jane: Ms. Li changing her support hose again?

Um... Daria, sometimes we may think we're ready for something and it won't change anything, but we're really not and it changes everything, and in the rush to grow up we sometime forget how precious are the fleeting years before adulthood's cares... Helen Morgendorffer: Thank God! Daria: [telling campfire stories at night] So the witch tore Hansel's arm off, popped it in her mouth, said, "Hey, pretty good," and within minutes had devoured the rest of his body, leaving only the lower intestine for fear of bacteria. That's why your father will make a terrific judge. So I'm an idiot and I'm sorry, okay? Mr. Timothy O'Neill: Jodie, about that word, "community." Fmossthree. Helen: I don't think you realize that modeling is an extremely competative activity... Quinn: [interrupts] So's dating. We just tell ourselves otherwise so we can function. Jane: Or we go downtown and apply for a seeing eye dog. We were born in this room, we grew up in this room, and we thought we would die here... alone. I wasn't even the one who stayed out late. Grounded for a month! Quinn: So what do you call people with funny outfits who talk about peace and love and stuff?

No, I always assumed that came from interaction with her parents, or lack of it.

Daria: Let's face it. You gotta play. Daria: Getting a date with the instructor is only the best part to you. Jane: Can we get on with this? Forget it. Helen: That man is just so... creepy.

Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: Yes, and it says right there that she's in. Remember, area F, section moss, level 3. Quinn Morgendorffer: Remember when we were little and we shared a room? Jane: I see. Jane: Does that mean *these* are the best years of our lives? Roommate 1: Wow. Daria Morgendorffer: [Talking to Jane about Mr. O'Neill's suggesting that Quinn tutor Daria on her writing] I should've said I don't need tutoring to write like her, just some big crayons. Dad! She is shallow, selfish and so very self-absorbed.

Daria: [Daria opens the box Dr. Shar gave her] Oh, yeah, she's got my number, all right.

We know Mr. O'Neill assigned a play, and you're pretty sure the title didn't contain the word "alien." 14 Times Daria And Quinn Morgendorffer Were You And Your Sister This post is for all the angsty teenage girls whose younger sisters seemed like they may have been adopted. Quinn Morgendorffer: Besides, why *shouldn't* I act sisterly towards her? Joey: Hey, Quinn, can I carry your... pencil? Quinn: Money? Quinn: So I wrote a stupid essay. Since there are no wrestling dramas on the syllabus, I'm guessing Shakespeare. From the … You and Erin both. [cut ends]. [Daria is going through Jane's sketchbook]. What do you think? Daria Morgendorffer: There's nothing to talk about. And stop calling me that, okay? [Silence]. Helen: Or maybe I'll just drop by in person, bring you a surprise snack for your lunch box, pop into class, and give it you myself. Stacy Rowe: Hey, these are stretch pants! Jane: Cause I've been trying not to think. He's odd, but he's not in a cult. Clearly she heard what Trent said about her]. Except... the nearest ocean was a hundred miles away. Jane: See, we're like artists, and this is how we express ourselves. Amelia: Remember the time you took of on your horse and left us all behind. Models.

Jake Morgendorffer: Dammit! Tonight I'm going to take your..." [Jake, scared, signals at Helen to end the story] "Take your pulse! Quinn: It's too last-minute to throw a party. Jane: Let's talk strategy. Wendy Hoopes, Actress: Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Jane Lane: Yeah, she's come down with a slight case of, um, brain fever. Daria: Good idea. Tom Sloane: Is that a teddy-bear backpack? Dear God, help me.". Are we talking about "The Force"? Daria: Then I'm afraid the fever has reached your brain and you'll have to be destroyed.

We're going to have to go outside the system... Ms. Angela Li: Did you really think you would ge away with this? Daria Morgendorffer: Can't accuse him of lying there. Helen Morgendorffer: Now, Quinn, I really think... Jake Morgendorffer: [Interrupts] I'll handle this. Jane: But in this case, you'll wish for it.

"Daria Quotes." I wouldn't stay for it myself, if I weren't in the band. Aliens don't hide in the bushes. Quinn: Yes he did! Thomas 'Tom' Sloane: I'm not flattering you, Daria. I don't know how, but they will. Oops!

Kevin Thompson: I'm a crappy athlete. I was wondering... Jane: Maximum of three questions. Quinn: I'm writing a poem about what a great model I'd be. Quinn Morgendorffer: The definition of a Narcissist I was watching some old episodes recently, and had a thought, that I could think of no better example of a narcissist than Quinn Morgendorffer. Daria Morgendorffer: We could appeal to him, and he might turn the full force of his overwhelming personality to Ms. Li, and then she'd eat him. Daria: Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it's almost like depth.