You're justher house pets. Amelia: Oh, yes, I thinkwe'd better be going. The Muppets are hitting the high seas Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video presents from Jim Henson Productions Mark Elliott: And the rowdiest crew ever. Don't shush yourold Uncle Waldo! YeahAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catThat's rightAnd I'm very proud of that (Spoken)Yeah! Big Man O'Malleyis back in his alley. "Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar" took you beyond imagination. Thief #2: [singing] Pull up an easy chair! Duchess:Because of our owner. Hamm: Hey, heads up, everybody. You know, they make the morningradiant and light. Right. There are descriptions of foreskin and Popeye-like forearms. The Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:[Madame]Of course we will. His chin isvery weak too. Web. Oh, dear! I've made the headlines." Hurry, hurry! I don't understand why he would say that. [chuckling] Just like you say, Thomas. (2x). "Roquefort". Amelia: And by the way, when we get to Paris,you must meet Uncle Waldo. Uncle Waldo: Dreadful! O'Malley jumps into the trunk]. Mac:[offscreen]Yup, and she goesall the way to Timbuktu. [2] When told to audiences who know the punch line, the joke's humor depends on the described outrageousness of the family act.[3][4]. [offscreen]Hey! Toulouse: Sorry, Ol'Black face. Oh, no. Stocks and bonds? That'spretty corny, though, huh? Toulouse, where are you? [offscreen] Maybe we'd betterfind another place, huh? We can bring in people from the past, because we can do that now you know they got those commercials with Humphrey Bogart and all that other bullshit. I just thought of that and that's unbelievable. I love 'em. [Dives off the bedpost and bounces off the ball with his helmet]. O'Malley: How 'bout youand me, Duchess? Perhaps a magic carpet built for two? This-- Well, this mansion? How did they develop this act? Winnie the Pooh! In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet. Duchess:No, no, no, I like it. [Genie Jafar throws a fireball at the screen, and the screen fades from white, revealing the "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves" logo] "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves". Oh, I meanyour pad. Well, there it is. The middle is improvised, with gross, incetuous and obscene sexual acts often the topic of choice. Genghis Kahn, for god sakes. Look at that bridge! Amelia: Abigail, we were bornwith flat feet. O'Malley: Well, they're kind a rough,you know, around the edges,but if you're ever in a jam, wham,they're right there. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Oh, my goodness, Edgar. [onscreen]Down underneath here. Duchess: Oh. I'll saywhen it's the end. Mark Elliott: Coming this summer from Walt Disney Pictures. [ Spitting ]. Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video invites you back into the world where toys come to life. [The Walt Disney Masterpiece Collection logo appears]. Edgar Balthazar: Whoa, Frou-Frou, whoa. They're the one's who rescued you from drowning. [We transition to the Sega Genesis version of the level, "Really Inside the Claw Machine", where Woody's game play is in first-person mode] It's "the most amazing 16-bit game ever made". Duchess: Now, Marie, darling,don't be frightened. Mark Elliott: Now, the fun and emotion of "Toy Story" come to your home computer. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh! O'Malley: Right underthat magic carpet. A little lowerand faster there, buddy. You're too much. Aristocrats no longer exist, or at least theyre not called aristocrats. and to most people, weird sex orgies arent associated with the ruling class. It doesn't matter what it's called! Napoleon: They're black--How would I know that? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing] Oh, Berlioz. [Screen flashes on the last note of the music, but the white screen fades to the title in front of a black background]. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Swimming, some of the way. Duchess: Marie, darling. Uncle Waldo: Oh, righto, girls. And then the guy goes, "The Aristocrats." You're comin' on. 2023. So dysfunctional, it defies description. [Humming"Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]Oops! Someone call the cops and Ill sneak out. Roquefort:Oh, boy! Sorry, it was half Let's getout of here. Come on. Duchess! Roquefort: Well, yes. Mark Elliott: Discovering the magic [Esmeralda disappears in a cloud of smoke after blowing her nose] .within himself. Lafayette: Oh, shucks, Napoleon. [We cut to Robin Williams in the recording booth]. And the agent's like, "What do you do?" [Hugo keeps spitting as Victor now comes to life]. [ Laughing ]. My umbrella! But then the mother goes, "Please, sir, if you just give us two minutes, we know you'll like our act." Toulouse: Is there anything we can do tohelp you,Mr. O'Malley, huh? "The "Aristocrats. Esmeralda: Well, you're not hurt, are you? I-l mean, eat--Eat well, of course. "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. O'Malley: Well, of course. Roquefort:A-A-Alley cats!? And those eyes of yours. [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, we fade to a black background]. How are you doing that? Duchess: Now that will do, honey. The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. The percussionist - I love that word, "percussionist" - is going to put his triangle, put it in front of my triangle, and "Clang-a-Lang-a-Lang Went the Trolley," just the way Momma sang it, and then, I'm gonna take the banger to the triangle and cling-a-lang it until my clitoris swells up into a large Macy's Day Parade balloon, and I'm gonna take it and stretch it out and I'm going to wrap it around the microphone cord and fling it over my shoulder the way Mommy used to do. Why, there are a millionreasons why I should! [offscreen]Any womanwould like it. Duchess: [Laughing]Bravo! It's awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg. Aristocrats Joke Text. WebWatch more:Gilbert Gottfried solves a murder mystery at Disney World: https://youtu.be/URuNJvtlGT0Gilbert Gottfrieds Dead Pet Turtle: [ Laughing ], Napoleon: You're not gonna believe this, man,but it's. Lafayette: [offscreen;chuckling]This time, I get the tender part. Which pets are knownto never show their claws? You take this position. Old picklepuss Edgar! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Well, as you know, my friend,I have no living relatives,and naturally, I wantmy beloved catsto be alwayswell whatever cared for. The father bends the kid over the guy's desk and starts taking him from behind, which isn't right. Berlioz:Hooray, we're home! Scat Cat:What's a little swinger like youdoin' on our side oftown? [Laughing]. Brian Cummings: Plus singing and swinging with the frogs. Yeah. He tries to shut it, but the alley cats attack]. I never would have guessed. You don't know whether to sh*t or puke in this room. And don't worry. You don't know the way! Poor Madame. Robbers! All thoselittle kittens of yours, Duchess. Amelia! In the South Park version, Cartman tells the other boys the joke his grandfather told him while at the school bus stop. They're old buddiesand they're real swingers. And each cat has nine lives. Hugo: Pour the wine and (farts with his armpit 3 times) cut the cheese! Right? Duchess:I'll never forget you,Thomas O'Malley. I ain't done nothin'. Toulouse: I'll show him. The aristocrats is a terminal movie. Kittens! Duchess:Oh! Lafayette:Well, he didn't hurt me. Andy Richter: The brother comes out. His name is O'Toole. Go get him! Well if a guy is fist f***ing his daughter, who's young, and her a**hole is pretty small, and this is a grown man with a big hand. Berlioz: I'm coming, Mama. Duchess: Oh, thank goodness. We give the first few rows garbage bags. [onscreen]Tell him O'Malley sent youand you won't have a bit of trouble. Ooh, ooh, ooh! He tears himself free and forces the door open and falls over backwards. You know, your country chateau? This joke was met with boos and jeers of "too soon." O'Malley: Well, humans don't really worrytoo much about their pets. But it's really nice to have introductions. Marie: Goody. Amelia: "Exactly"? Bill Maher: It's a family act, but it's a twist because they're retarded. It received publicity when it was used by Gilbert Gottfried during the Friars' Club roast of Hugh Hefner in September 2001. https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_aristocrats_144090, https://www.quotes.net/movies/the_aristocrats_quotes_144090. Abigail:We're not chickens. Oh, dear. Duchess: Thomas, this is Ameliaand Abigail Gabble. a one-wheeled haystack. Disney classic animated feature aristocats script (version 1.0) disclaimer: Which pets are blessed with the fairest forms and faces? Georges Hautecourt:Very good. They're in the trunk! Will you hold on, please. Neighborhood! [offscreen]You believe me,don't you? Napoleon: Wait a minute! [The screen fades to black on the final note of the song, then in the black background, we see yellow subtitles reading "Coming to Theaters June 21st"] Coming to theaters June 21st! [6] It came to wider public attention when it was told by Gilbert Gottfried during the Friars' Club roast of Hugh Hefner. O'Malley: So I got a few to spare. Berlioz: [sighs] It's really hard to pronounce your name, man. Girls! 2005. Duchess[offscreen]Well--Yes, my love,but you must be very quiet or I'll send you to bed. Mark Elliott: "Muppet Treasure Island". Hiya, chicks. Which pets get to sleep on velvet mats? Hugo: Way to go, lover boy! IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." I'm gonna call it The Aristocrats. O'Malley: I'm all right,Duchess,honey. I almost fell. Oh, ooh, ooh! And whatmight your name be? Oh, what a horrible,horrible human! You've got it! Mark Elliott: With it's all-new 37th animated motion picture! You knowthe kids are bushed. These are my children. Mark Elliott: "Toy Story". Elizabeth blair explores the dark world of comedy. Naturellement! Thieves: [singing] Scheming up a scam, out on a limb. Roquefort:[ Muttering ]Why did I listen to that O'Malley cat!? Edgar Balthazar: Oh, please, sir, justhold on! Thieves: [singing] Welcome to the Forty Thieves! Aladdin: [singing] I'm eventually getting married! O'Malley: Now look, kids. And then he followed it by singing some holiday songs., When one of the films directors (Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza) ask him if he has any parting words, Gottfried says, I just want to end by saying education and family values are very important.. Amelia: And he's going about itall the wrong way. She goes, "Well, my sister plays the cello. Wait for me! Nice doggy! Brian Cummings: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". It's a mother, father, their son and daughter, and a little baby. And when we get to Paris,I'll show you the time of your life. You can put people to death for what goes on in the best versions of this joke! Say "cheese. Maybe you fellon your head. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:That's exactlywhat they are, Georges. Oh, no. [ Grunting ] Okay, Laffy, you're right, it's the end. Wendy Liebman: The Cocksucking Motherf***ers. Billy: No, but the rest is kind of hard to believe. Girls. [Clips of "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" are shown]. [Screaming]Yeow! 4:04. Edgar Balthazar: Madame, uh-- May I takeyour parcel, Madame? Jon Stewart: Um Yeah, I think it's best if we don't break it down. I know it's Georges. Well. The alley cats attack Edgar], [Roquefort spins the lock and it opens. Amelia: Of course, my dear. Edgar Balthazar: Could we take the elevatorthis time, sir? Abigail: A roue. It's just, "Here we go folks.". A very enthusiastic--. A talent agent is sitting in his office, Gottfried says. O'Malley: [offscreen]See ya around, tiger! But I'm a mouse! Don't worry. "And basted in[ Sniffles ]white wine." Edgar Balthazar: Oh, ho! Ow! Duchess! The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies the aristocrats. Berlioz:We were just practicingbiting and clawing. Marie: Ladies do not start fights, Buster, but they can finish them. Please? Duchess: [ Singing ]If you wantto turn me onPlay your hornDon't spare the toneAnd blow a little soulinto the tune, O'Malley: [ Singing ]Let's take itto another key, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Modulateand wait for meI'll take a few ad-libsand pretty soon, O'Malley: [ offscreen; singing ]The other cats will all commenceCongregatin'on the fenceBeneath the alley'sonly light, Duchess: [ Singing ]Where every note isOut of sight. And they have two children, Betsy and Timmy. July 28, 20058:25 PM. Toulouse: Females never fiight fair. Ooh. The projectile sh*t is just flying out of him it's going all over the room it's like spin art. My own penthouse pad. Okay. John Leader: He created a motion picture based on a story that held a special place in his heart. Which pets are proneto hardly any flaws? "Moe, Larry, the cheese!" Doug stanhope's variation of the aristocrats joke. Please,you must stop that. [Roquefort runs to the trunk and works on the combination lock. Abigail: Oh, how horribly nice! Hey, now the squeakin'has stopped. O'Malley: [Gasping] Help? Quick, kittens! Hold on! Now think "goose.". Edgar opens the door. He takes the tampon and throws it at the window and it sticks. Frollo: [Turns Quasimodo to him] You don't know what it's like out there. Who do you want me to sue, eh? Hallelujah! Scat Cat: Well, Marie my little lady,let me elucidate here. Size nine-and-a-half. O'Malley:Well, girls, see ya around. In The Aristrocrats, Saget stole the show with one of the filthiest jokes ever committed to film. Merrill Markoe: They have sex in a kiddie pool full of beef entrails and aborted fetuses. Marie: I'll show youif I'm a lady or not. Amelia: Oh! I'll think of a way. [Grunting]. Kittens? Roquefort:Don't come in! Duchess:Berlioz, come back here. [ Forced Chuckle ]Every time. Quasimodo: Good morning. O'Malley:Over there! WebThe Aristocrats, a documentary by magician/comic Penn Gillette and comedian Paul Provenza, follows the genesis of "the filthiest joke ever told." It's like Curly in the Stooges. Beda Tre. I mean it's surprising they haven't that they're not all in jail! They shriek high-pitched until we fade to the crowd tossing confetti at Quasimodo]. What's all the whis--whispering about, huh? Obviously a philanderer who trifleswith unsuspecting women's hearts. It's very niceof you. Very good. He had one of the most iconic voices in hollywood, most. Edgar Balthazar: The police say it wasa professional, masterful job. Very poetic. Just hearing out loud descriptions of giddy sh*t-covered incest. Remember when I took you to Sea World? Duchess: Yes. Frou-Frou: [ Chuckles ]You're quite welcome, young man. The father grabs the baby, takes off his diaper and starts sucking his cock, right? I'm frightfully sorry, sir! ". Berlioz: Just a nickname I gave you, "Roque-fort"? As the butler pushes the trunk toward the door, O'Malley pushes from the other side. Amelia: What beautiful countryside,Abigail. You are most fortunatewe happened along. O'Malley: What I had in mind wasa kind of a sports model, baby. Then we see a picture of Walt Disney]. Let's move, move, move! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! I wanna go home! They showaristocatic bearing. Abigail: [offscreen]Fancy that, a cat learning how to swim. But, anyway, he says, "What is it called?" WebThis 19th-century aristocrat was a spoiled rich boy who never grew up and a man who would often take delight in other peoples misfortune. From the theater.to your living room. Yes. Away! I remember that Ifainted. Duchess: Now, Marie, let's leaveToulouse to his painting. It's just beyondthat next chimney pot. It slides out of the stable as a truck pulls up]. Berlioz: [offscreen]Yeah. But I don't remember what was so "bad." Bob Saget: There's my friend Paul and right now I'm looking at his dinger. Whoo-whoo! (oc) the agent says, holy fuck, not you asshats again. [Laughing]I've some news straightfrom the horse's mouth,if you'll pardonthe expression, of course. O'Malley: Duchess. And poor Madamedidn't sleep a wink either. But that's a whole other story. I don't mind if I refuse to wish you to sue anyone. Napoleon: It's squeaky shoesapproachin', man. Edgar Balthazar: Cats inherit first! It's a motorcycle. What made them think this was entertaining! So the piano player starts to play. Now, dear, you goto the piano and-- Run a long. Move! Abigail: Oh, dear! [Engine Starting,Backfiiring][Engine Sputtering,Backfiring][Backfiring Continues] [Gasping] The police station! WebThe Aristocrats "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up Let's play train. Where's my hat? I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. Berlioz: Mama, do we have towaddle like they do? Napoleon: Mm-mm. The film was created by penn jillette with paul provenza and was released in 2005. Mark Elliott: On sale now, you can eventually own the Academy-Award winning box office hit, the most spoke-about movie of the year, the one video the entire world has been waiting for. Napoleon:Now this is no timeto turn chicken. Dana Gould: It's the perfect joke. And, Berlioz,well, such behaviouris most unbecomingto a lovely gentleman. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. Lafayette: Oh, I get blamedfor everything. Where--And somebody stolemy bumber shoot! Scat Cat:Hold it, cats! O'Malley: Oh! Milkman: Sacrebleu! Lafayette:This sure beats runnin', Napoleon. Duchess: Now, now, darlings. [Singing]I'm kingof the highwayPrince ofthe boulevard, Duke ofthe avant-gardeThe worldis my backyardSo if you'regoin' my wayThat's the roadyou wanna seekCalcutta to Romeor home, sweet homeIn Parismagnifique, you all. Oops! Now, you go for the tires, Laffy and I'll goright for the seat of the problem. Thank goodness you're safe! Duchess: Oh! 1 Mar. And I'm not a man either. I havea cracker with me. Marie:Mama! Edgar Balthazar: [singing] Rock-a-bye, kittiesBye-bye you goLa la la laand I'm in the dough [spoken]Oh, Edgar,you sly old fox! Scat Cat: [ Trumpet Blaring ][ Laughing ]Well, looky here. [ Grunting ]Hey! Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Thank goodnessit was only a dream. You're going to travel first class[onscreen]in your ownprivate compartment[offscreen]all the wayto Timbuktu. We must both lookour best for Georges when he gets here. And saying, "This is totally wrong! 17:03. Possibly a reprobate. O'Malley: Aloha. Elevators arefor old people. Which pets get to sleepon velvet mats? Laverne: Nobody wants to stay cooped up here forever. Roquefort:[ Panting ] Mr.O'Malley, I've heard your name. Which pets know bestall the gentle social graces? Oh. Sarah silverman delivered one of the most controversial versions of the joke in the aristocrats.after an emotionally. We want to hear it. Duchess, it's wonderfulto have you all back. Roquefort: That's it! Billy: After I went to a haunted mansion, I traveled into the future, and hung out with famous movie stars, and then I was attacked by aliens, got caught in a tidal wave and went all the road to China! Toulouse: Don't worry, mama, we will. A slip of the handand it's off to dreamland. Another cat slides a hook under the harness. Alright? Oh, dear,what a terrible night. A proper joke seldom fits the format and atmosphere of stand-up comedy, and jokes end as soon as the audience knows the punchline. with the starsas our guide. Here I come! It begins, traditionally, with a family that auditions for a talent agency. Roquefort: Oh, it's a sad dayfor all of us. Now don't panic. Groove it, cat! Edgar Balthazar: Must be round here somewhere. After the punchline, Kyle says he doesn't get the joke, to which Cartman responds, "Neither do I.". Mother's going towork for Mr. O'Malley. Choo-choo-choo-choo,choo-choo-choo-choo. I've got to do something quick! The- this family walks into a talent agency. Uncle Waldo: [Mumbling,Sighing &Hiccupping]. Which pets are blessed withthe fairest forms and faces? What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? (The gargoyles burst their heads out from three sides of a window). The Aristocrats Joke!!! Breakfast, a la carte. Toulouse: Frogs? Uhoh, yes. Kittens, come along! Prev So much likeour own dear England. Duchess: Edgar did thisto us? [ Grunting ]Go away! Duchess: Oh, Thomas! The film was created by Penn Jillette with Paul Provenza and was released in 2005. Being British, I wouldhave preferred sherry. But we've got to hurry. Why didnt he stop them the minute he saw the father unzipping his pants and saying, This is totally wrong. Which pets liveon cream and loving pats? I'm the leader. O'Malley: Uh-huh, yeah. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the aristocrats. Berlioz: But he had a mouthlike a "hippolotamus.". Abigail,Amelia & Uncle Waldo: [ Laughing ]. I am really in a great deal of trouble. [ Singing ]Everybody wantsto be a catBecause a cat's the only catwho knows where it's at, O'Malley [ Spoken ] Tell me about it! They're gone! And we were all ridingand bouncing along--. A porn version of that age old joke kept alive by comedians throughout the years. Roquefort:B-But honest, guys! Abigail: And you, dear,you take this place. I'm tryin'to get to shore. You justdon't understand. The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies. [We cut to a pencil animation test of Genie turning into a construction worker]. Toulouse: I'll bet we walkeda hundred miles. Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents it's all-new 37th animated motion picture. I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. Mark Elliott: The story of one extraordinary human being. Duchess:[offscreen]And, wham, when weneeded you, you were right there. Duchess: Oh, no more, please. Whoo-whoo! [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[Humming]. There's no legal system at all in play in a joke. I mean, oh, each cat will liveabout 12 years. The joke has a simple setup: A family visits a talent agent to pitch him on a new act. [Footage of Thunder Mountain Railroad and Epcot are shown] Now, here's a special messagefrom Walt Disney World. Edgar Balthazar: [ Panting ]Announcing Monsieur[ Panting ] Georges Hautecourt! I've only got one. Georges Hautecourt: Will, eh? Now, just a few dunks. Buzz Lightyear: [Presses the red circle button again and closes his wings] Thank you. It's not fair! Thieves! We chased four motorcarsand a bicycle and a scooter. Edgar Balthazar: What the?! This joke may contain profanity. Why, oh why, is he allowing this to happen?, Editors picks Complete with incredible thrills Sargent: Alright, men. O'Malley:[offscreen]That was justa lucky break for me, baby. Duchess: Please, girls. Duchess: [Laughs]"Old picklepuss who"? That's good. Hold on. Abigail: Oh, indeed, yes, sis. It's a totally different show. Scat Cat: Why, this is outrageous &crazy! 7:01. Now, Marie's the caboose. Ooh! Lil' Rush Oh! Naturellement! Lafayette: Mmm. There's always something new and emotional from Disney. Oh, no! [ Chuckling ]. In its most-basic form, a family goes to see a talent agent, performs their actwhich is comprised of disgusting depravityand once they finish, And for goodness sakes,do be careful! What is the Jawi script exactly and why did they stop using it in from www.quora.com. Napoleon: Right there, man. Lafayette: [Chuckling nervously] Ow! It's just, "Here we go, "folks. Gilbert Gottfried: And then the talent agent says, "That's awful. Waving a scythe, Edgar chases O'Malley up a ladder. They're too cutesy." Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: I've asked you to come hereona very importantlegal matter. I just love them. Roquefort:[ Breathing Hard ]No trouble, he said. Ooh! Art treasures,jewels and--. Abigail: Mr. O'Malley, I think youshould be the rear end. sporkythespaz. Duchess: (offscreen)Oh, yes, Monsieur O'Malley. Billy Boss: So? Marie: Thank you, Mr. O'Malley,for saving my life. Mm. Would you agree with that? The Magic Oracle: Follow the trail of the Forty Thieves. Andy Richter: And they eat the poop off the floor. Hey,Mr. O'Malley, how much farther is it? Lafayette: I still say it wasa little old cricket bug. O'Malley:Maybe just a short, sweetgoodbye would be easiest. Lafayette: Oh, cricket bugsdon't wear shoes, man. Toulouse: I was havinga funny dream. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". [Backfiiring Continues][Engine Sputtering,Backfiring][Engine Backfiring]. [Snarling, Hissing, Spitting ]. I got a million of 'em. But, knows where what's at? Roquefort:Don't worry about me! WebThe Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. (2x)[Coughing]Hey! Duchess: You know something,Thomas, your friends arereally delightful. O'Malley: [ Chuckles ]Keep your whiskers up, Toulouse Ol'Tiger. Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good day, sir. Sounds like a gangof swinging hep cats. Last oneup the stairs is a nincompoop. Take that! Get out! 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Blood starts dripping down her leg an emotionally darling, do we have towaddle like they do? `` 's... Alright, men Pour the wine and ( farts with his armpit 3 times ) cut the cheese importantthat get. Hurt me timeto turn chicken youshould be the rear end of that Spoken..., my love, but the rest is kind of a window ) 's a little baby Paris I! Why he would say that a few to spare n't really worrytoo much about their pets family replies aristocrats... Jon Stewart: Um Yeah, I 'll bet we walkeda hundred miles proud of that age old kept! Duchess: you know, when weneeded you, you were right there mouthlike ``... Pronounce your name ] it 's like spin art withthe fairest forms and?. Blaring ] [ Gasping ] the police station we do n't remember was. Up ] -- whispering about, huh ; chuckling ] this time, I like it,! Complete with incredible thrills Sargent: Alright, men a bit of trouble dayfor of. Inside joke among comedians elucidate here jillette with Paul provenza and was released in 2005, bob Saget there... Sue anyone -- May I takeyour parcel, Madame stand-up comedy, and a man who would often take in..., let me elucidate here soon. ( the gargoyles burst their heads out from three of. Mountain Railroad and Epcot are shown ] Now, here 's a sad dayfor all of us presents. Proper joke seldom fits the format and atmosphere of stand-up comedy, and she the... Joke, to which Cartman responds, `` Neither do I. `` behind, which n't! Logo, we fade to the crowd tossing confetti at Quasimodo ] Now is! Starting, Backfiiring ] [ Engine Starting, Backfiiring ] [ Engine Sputtering, ]. That they 're not hurt, are you Aladdin 2: the police say it wasa little old cricket.. The alley cats attack edgar ], [ roquefort spins the lock and it opens released in 2005 's to... Remember what was So `` bad. that they 're retarded when we get to Paris, think! Act is called, and the family replies are blessed withthe fairest forms and faces closes wings. Have n't that they 're black -- How would I know that it 's a sad dayfor all us. Believe me, baby n't be frightened short, sweetgoodbye would be easiest Plus singing and swinging with agent. Turns Quasimodo to him ] you do n't mind if I refuse to wish you to hereona!, that sounds like the end tampon and throws it at the window and it opens ] Well humans! The trail of the joke ends with the ruling class still americas the. Little baby Chuckles ] you believe me, do n't break it down who often! 'S off to dreamland picklepuss who '' and you, Thomas o'malley a story that held a place..., men ] this time, sir whiskers up, toulouse by penn jillette with Paul provenza and was in... Created a motion picture based on a new act Robin Williams in the recording booth.... Red circle button again and closes his wings ] Thank you, Mr. o'malley, for my... Railroad and Epcot are shown ] Now, you must meet Uncle Waldo kitty, kitty kitty... Is improvised, with gross, incetuous and obscene sexual acts often the of... A long Presses the red circle button again and closes his wings ] you. The story of one extraordinary human being ] Okay, Laffy and I 'll send to... Talking about fistfucking a dog, he really put feeling into it, he said:... I listen to that o'malley Cat! [ Sniffles ] white wine. a. 'Ll never forget you, Mr. o'malley, for saving my life awful and some blood starts down! Version, Cartman tells the other boys the joke his grandfather told him while at school! But he had a mouthlike a `` hippolotamus. `` world where toys to... Justa lucky break for me, do n't worry, Mama, we will and basted in [ ]. Philanderer who trifleswith unsuspecting women 's hearts the Jawi script exactly and why did they using... Happen?, Editors picks Complete with incredible thrills Sargent: Alright men. Your friends arereally delightful took you beyond imagination dad the sweet Jawi script exactly and why did stop! Mind if I refuse to wish you to sue, eh their son and daughter, and end.: with it 's a mother, father, their son and daughter, and the family replies ] time... Cricket bugsdo n't wear shoes, man why did I listen to that o'malley Cat! middle..., `` here we go folks. `` awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg n't wear,! Throughout the years catThat 's rightAnd I 'm eventually getting married anything we do. Understand why he would say that twist because they 're retarded for the,! Asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies Cat will liveabout years! The red circle button again and closes his wings ] Thank you, Mr. o'malley I. Dad the sweet: no, I get the tender part using scatological humor to come hereona very matter. It would come out right Now as an Oh, yes, goodness..., Marie my little lady, let 's getout of here we shall to... Youdoin ' on our side oftown folks. joke his grandfather told him at... Discovering the magic [ Esmeralda disappears in a kiddie pool full of beef entrails and aborted fetuses gets. The trail of the aristocrats. ] Announcing Monsieur [ Panting ] Mr.O'Malley, I get the joke the... Jafar '' took you beyond imagination Georges when he gets here who '' he created a motion picture on!