They might one day, no one knows your autistic childs future. The things that effect your stepchild now will still effect them 20 years from now. She is NOT complaining about her child. Weve had to replace the tv three times in the last two months because hes broken it. I really needed to know that Im not the only parent who feels this way. But that doesnt equal liking him and you know that deep down. I saw that video too and my first thought was why is she taking him to this bloody Elmo thing anyway.He so obviously didnt want to be there. To be so disrespectful of anothers choices on how she helps educate the world on the MANY FACES of autism, and those who love them yours, your childs, my child, Coopers mother, me we all have the right to feel how we feel and share what we feel comfortable sharing as THAT CAN HELP OTHER FAMILIES. then go ahead. I think doing this by responding to a support thread is great. Don't feel bad if your child never learns to speak. For example, consider making homemade pizza with your child. And well, an apple that falls far from the tree is quite a rare thing Poor children, and poor pets. And autistic adults can help show you howYou will be so thankful when you do!!!! Please feel free to submit articles to enhance the knowledge Especially if your child is severely affected, AND UNABLE TO SELF ADVOCATE, he needs a translator, i.e., his mom, his primary caregiver. By not telling the truth about what its like to live with a child with severe autism, its painting an inaccurate picture and quite frankly, its counter productive. Watching your child headbang, scratch, bite, punch themselves for a reason we cant explain, and the helpless feeling of watching that without being able to stop it unless using restraints and emergency medications to sedate. Okay, but where else can these people vent? People with autism have a number of legal rights and protections. Don't punish/criticize the child or push them to do something if they aren't comfortable, because they'll associate social interactions with negative feelings. Obviously the woman was overwhelmed. Parents need an outlet but it shouldnt be somewhere the child can Google for later in life. This can be harmful to the child's self-esteem and may cause regression, aggression, and other problems. (My sons therapy just from age 2 to 6 was not reimbursed by insurance and cost us the equivalent of a house or a college education at Harvard!). My God are you OK? Our children, and therefore us and all family members, have been thrown into a disease that is painful, is horrible, that is hard to watch someone suffer from. Like, there is an out? hmmmm. 217K subscribers in the autism community. have you ever met autistic children at the level 3 end of the spectrum? The problem here isnt the teachers, most of whom are going beyond duty for the children. The same goes for caffeine dont give your child anything that is likely to keep him or her awake. I wish all the parents of autistic kiddos could see their kids the way I see mine.I wouldnt change him for the world. I also totally agree with you that we should treat each other with grace. I am an autistic adult, I avoided the Autism world for a long time because I could not cope with how many times I felt hated by some parents. Autistic people are HUMAN BEINGS and deserve to be treated like it! This article has been viewed 68,833 times. YOUR brain may be fine just the way it is, but something happened to my healthy, typically developing baby boy and he got seizures and lost words, started toe walking, got a horrible rash, allergies, and regressed into full blown autism a neurological DISORDER. I feel like Im getting a peek into my own mothers thought processes. I get it. Agreed. Well, as an autistic adult who is struggling badly with self-worth and Googling Am I a Burden? these abusive, unhinged comments have clearly allowed me to see that its actually not me thats a problem for existing. Or maybe stop telling other parents what to do You have much to learn. Shes clearly not saying theres NO complaining to do just that plastering it on public forums isnt doing anyone any favors. You are not in her shoes, and you clearly have no idea what its like to live with a severely autistic individual. A study was done looking at ability to empathise between: Neurotypical- Neurotypical people, Neurotypical-autistic people, and Autistic-autistic people. Instead say "I don't understand, but I care and I'm glad you're talking to me.". They would grow to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, and individualized on their own. Let them choose whether it's worth the effort to redirect it or not, and give them your full support either way. I know its true for me. If shaming others is wrong then please dont shame literal children to their face for something outside of their control. It was shown that autistic people are able to emphasise With each other as well as neurotypicals can with each other. Take heart. Just because your life is manageable with your perfect authistic kid and 4 normal kids, does not mean it is the same for the rest of us. Its very hard for people who have no issues. Theres no hidden child underneath the Autism. With any of those suggestions, please make sure your child is out of earshotand that youre talking to someone safe. I am full of fatigue, no energy, and have lost all joy in my life. I have two children with autism. These difficulties can be very frustrating! Take a seat. He can go to the bathroom on his own and even though he didnt go to mes school he still has the possibility to think of what he wants his life to be. He is now 65 tall but sees himself as a very small child so he can scare small children, as he is still wanting to play in the sandbox or baby pool and playgrounds . I find it great that the internet creates the possibility for parents of autistic children to support each other. You can express these things without traumatizing your child. Esp for some lower functioning kids eg non verbal. Special door locks and alarms on every door because the same severe individual can, and will, elope, whenever possible. They have no idea what struggles you are going through, or what sorrow you feel. That is not whining that is a fact. How could you find a family willing to take your autistic child? I grieve! That said, a lot of these difficulties arose not directly from the autism but because of the lack of understanding and awareness of it. A Prisoner in your own home because the individual is unable to go out into public due to anxiety and meltdowns. I dont get all you parents who wish your kids were different than how they are. And I research how I can make it better and i take him to therapy and we try this and that But what I really need some times is to see someone else who struggles too. You are not wrong, but you said it WRONG. And I work with all ranges of autistic people. I havent seen this particular video (dont plan to, either), but I see a lot of this stuff on Facebook, etc. And your children will, too, if you continue to publicly talk behind their backs and criticize them. It wasnt that long ago that saying ANYTHING negative about parenting was taboo. Yall need to start treating your severely Autistic children with basic human rights, privacy, and respect. Hmmm? The first time I was hospitalized for suicide, I was eighteen years old. However, even on my worst day, I would NEVER post one of his meltdowns online! Good for you, you must be soooooo perfect! Dont censor the woman whose video went viral about her view. If they won't talk about autism, talk about the struggles without mentioning the diagnosis. I struggle socially, have meltdowns, struggle with squalor, sensory overload, dyspraxia etc. We do not get the services or supports we need because far too many parents paint their childs autism as a gift. People need to see the hard side of autism. Confusion of pronouns. Support groups are for support. Unfortunately, intellectual disabilities, as well as ADD/ADHD, and seizure disorders are common comorbidities with autism, and all too often, make the autism even worse. To be honest? My son was disagnosed at age 3 in 1991 at the Einstein Center in the Bronx when the prerequisite for being considered autistc was being so profoundly withdrawn into your own world you didnt relate, react or respnd to anythingor if you did it was insanely appropriate.They have stretched that diagnoses out to the point where people who can have perfectly back and forth conversations, drive cars, have jobs, go to college, marryare autistic, leading advocates and polititians to assumeautismthose special little genious snowflakes who are great in math,right?thats one reason services are so tough to come by.Were no longer allowed to say.my child is half retarded and half insane, and the only time I get a break is when hes asleep.Im always amazed when people want autistics to stand up and talk about themselves.huh??? What that mom posted about her kid was abusive. For the love. Work with your child to find alternative ways to stim. On behalf of all the autism parents who could get through about two paragraphs of your article, STOP JUDGING. Text with another parent of autistic kids youre friends with. When you say that autism ruined your marriage, youre telling people to fear autistic people. Never being able to figure out exactly what your child needs, or wants, because they cant tell you and you cant read their mind. You must ignore her posts where she cheers on her children and shows her sons accomplishments since youre only talking about her being upset. Shaming other people pain and how they express it is wrong. On top of this she in stuck to me 24/7. Lets see how happy you remain when your kid kills your pets, destroys everything you love or hold dear, smears feces on everything in the home including your face, ruins all interaction around you with his tantrums and physically attacks you or anyone for no reason. However there are real limitations to what can be done in a classroom with students. Facebook nowadays is a cesspool of narcissistic boomers, sl*ts, anti-vaxxers, white supremacists, conspiracy weirdos and other human trash, so posting a public video shaming your disabled children there means that youre not different from them. Autism is one of the pervasive developmental disorders, with symptoms that usually appear before three years of age. understatement of the year!!!!! You get date nights?! Well nothing has changed with him. I know exactly how you feel. 3. If you dont have a good support network, I hope you are able to find one. You should probably take this article down. Even if a child has a vast knowledge of vocabulary and syntax, they may not process spoken words well. I am an autistic adult (of the drive a car, have a job ilk ;). Your child may not sit still, but mild/moderate fidgeting can be enough to help them focus. Recap. Respect and support help autistic people feel confident. Its been 4 years since my oldest was diagnosed and almost 2 years since my middle baby was diagnosed, and Ive better educated myself on how to best accommodate thier needs. Stop shaming someone for sharing Genuine valid emotions and sharing experiences that shes finding hard. Some days I want to kill myself, I wouldnt wish my childs Autism on my worst enemy and I love my child, but I need respite and there isnt any, my family wont help, I dont blame them, neither will my spouses, no one can handle it we have been trying for 3 years now to get resources Im tired and help hasnt been coming for so long now, unless we win the lottery tomorrow. It sounds like she had a hopeful day planned out for her kid, felt that he was ready, and couldnt wait to see his happiness, then when it went downhill it really sunk in how bad his disability is and she felt that she had failed him. And mean. And if you did, the whole world wouldnt feel sympathy, theyd tell you to stop being so mean and love your child for who they are. AAC can help bridge the gap if your child isn't ready for speech yet. But if a wider audience begins to see the lack of services provided for families like ours, maybe we wont be forgotten. I accept my son fully for his differences, but sharing our stories gives others a glimpse into our life, and can encourage policy makers to fund programs for the disabled. She doesnt want me going to the garden. Would you share that with the whole world in a way that shamed him or would you find people you trusted to support you and vent to them? A video complaining of your child is a bad way to get the attention the mother obviously needs.