My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance. Then I went on a prodigious bender, and that chance vanished. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. Our behavior will convince them more than our words. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and More concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either Includes pages 1-164 and: The original Foreword. That is, if he is lucky enough to have a home. They cited cases out of their own experience by the dozen. Had they fired me first, and had they then taken steps to see that I was presented with the solution contained in this book, I might have returned to them six months later, a well man. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks. Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences. 6. It will take time to clear away the wreck. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholics drinking bout creates. Maybe it will prove a blessing! While grateful that he drinks no more, they may not like the idea that God has accomplished the miracle where they failed. But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated. Instead, you will capitalize them. You put me on the spot every time you get drunk. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. He attended church school, where he became rebellious at what he thought an overdose of religious education. He may demand that the family find God in a hurry, or exhibit amazing indifference to them and say he is above worldly considerations. Have there been any significant changes in the first 164 pages? His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! But that was over now. You will learn the full meaning of Love thy neighbor as thyself.. It is possible to have a full and useful life, though your husband continues to drink. His wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful, though she thought she saw something different about her husband already. But we dont delay if it can be avoided. The more hopeless he feels, the better. Includes pages 1-164 and: - The original Foreword - The Doctor's Opinion - Dr. Bob's Story - If you can't find the passages cited in your Big Book, try the provided chapter/story name as an aid. Stocks were at the low point of 1932, and I had somehow formed a group to buy. Yet we do go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things, when such action is warranted. But the policy of this company is not to interfere with the habits of our employees. He added that occasionally in the night a vague craving arose which would be satisfied by candy. Whenever possible, let your husband explain. Is not each trying to arrange the family show to his liking? Leon Wilkeson Wife, When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. Note: You don't need a two-sided printer to print on both sides. The slightest sign of fear or intolerance may lessen your husbands chance of recovery. 8-c. Has there been a desire to make any changes in it? We must not shrink at anything. Sometimes there were other women. He had that starry-eyed look. AA fellowship is actually not nearly as effective as it once was. Unless they actually need protection from their father, it is best not to take sides in any argument he has with them while drinking. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. Being somewhat weakened, and faced with physical and mental readjustment to a life which knows no alcohol, he may overdo. Patience and good temper are most necessary. The family may object to this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it. Were we kind and loving toward all? When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. Surrender means that you As you type, words are displayed which match your keystrokes. We have tried every imaginable remedy. The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the effect that experience is the thing of supreme value in life. He said, Why dont you choose your own conception of God?. I had often pondered these things. Whether you mention this book is a matter for your discretion. Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety. We do not want to be the arbiter of anyones sex conduct. We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. 1 second ago. When it made us cocky, it was worse. These are followed by forty-three personal experiences. We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking, the illustration would fit us exactly. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd. They are all disappointed, and often let him feel it. But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand. Goes off his head completely when hes drinking. Todays life is measured against that of other years and, when it falls short, the family may be unhappy. Many of our husbands were just as far gone. He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient. The family must realize that dad, though marvelously improved, is still convalescing. With ministers, and the worlds religions, I parted right there. So, you see, there were three alcoholics in that town, who now felt they had to give to others what they had found, or be sunk. Your husband may come to appreciate your reasonableness and patience. Passing all understanding is the patience mothers and wives have had with alcoholics. What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. What does Surrender Mean?The hardest thing about trusting in the sanctuary of outcasts book club questions. He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated he ought to sleep the clock around. Still the play does not suit him. He would do anything, he said, but that. The experiment of quitting for a period of time will be helpful, but we think we can render an even greater service to alcoholic sufferers and perhaps to the medical fraternity. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known! Aint it grand the wind stopped blowin?. According to the Big Book, how many copies were sold of the. Though, it is an impressive number when you stop to consider how many pages are in the Big Book. Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: Many of us exclaimed, What an order! If we havent the will to do this, we ask until it comes. The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). e-mail: why are bulgarians so beautifulsubcajamar@sindigraficos.org If he owes you money you may wish to make terms. Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop. This is particularly true of women. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed. As our work spreads and our numbers increase, we hope your employees may be put in personal contact with some of us. If, on the other hand, they took nothing, their self-pity made them killjoys. For years he had floundered from one sanitarium to another. So cooperate; never criticize. That was a great physicians opinion. Use 164andMore.com to search the Big Book and the 12&12. We avoid retaliation or argument. You may have an earlier or different edition. Jericho Season 3: Civil War is a comic book limited series of six issues that continues the storyline of the CBS television show Jericho. Get in Touch. We do not like the thought that the contents of a book or the work of another alcoholic has accomplished in a few weeks that for which we struggled for years. He may take small interest in the children and may show irritation when reproved for his delinquencies. Bill Wilsons influence can be seen in many ways in the book, including the words and language used and also in the style that it was written. He had consulted the best known American psychiatrists. For his sake, we do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past. First Edition of the Big Book. We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them. We had a new Employer. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. If he cannot or does not want to stop, he should be discharged. I had developed a theory that most people lost money in stocks through ignorance of markets. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. Though his family be at fault in many respects, he should not be concerned about that. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. Pg.163: You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power so much greater than . I was once, but Im a nobody now. Now translated into over 70 languages, it is still considered A.A.'s basic text. The first part, known as the first 164 pages or the "original manuscript" explains the 12 step program and how it can be used to overcome the effects of alcoholism. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Some day we hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), officially known as "Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism," is the foundational text of AA and its 12 Step program.The text got this name because the first edition of the book had rather thick pages, making the book even thicker than its content would suggest. Besides, my gin would last longer than his preaching. That is true only if one is willing to turn the past to good account. When a person offended we said to ourselves, This is a sick man. The unexpected result was that our husbands seemed to like it. He has not had a drink since. 6. True the word surrender is NOT in the first 164 pages of the Big Book - know why? But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. The Little Big Book avoids sexist language, and welcomes people of all lifestyles and faiths. Be determined that your husbands drinking is not going to spoil your relations with your children or your friends. We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. If you take it, your past will be forgotten and the fact that you went away for treatment will not be mentioned. Why? But you had better hang on to it. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He had a desperate desire to stop, but saw no way out, for he had earnestly tried many avenues of escape. We know you will not want to miss it. Being intrigued, however, he invited our friend to his home. Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. He may seek someone else to console him-not always another man. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. When his wife next calls saying he is sick, you might jump to the conclusion he is drunk. Hence we are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is reasonable, why we think it more sane and logical to believe than not to believe, why we say our former thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our hands in doubt and said, We dont know.. Tell him how baffled you were, how you finally learned that you were sick. And but for the intervention of an understanding person, I might have followed in their footsteps. The courage to do battle was not there. Oh no, said my friend, this chap is either through with liquor, or he is minus a job. Did not these feelings, after all, determine the course of our existence? This painful past may be of infinite value to other families still struggling with their problem. I just thought I would get a sandwich. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. The employer cannot play favorites, but he can always defend a man from needless provocation and unfair criticism. We have elsewhere remarked how much better life is when lived on a spiritual plane. Still you may say: But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book. We cannot be sure. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! Alcoholics Anonymous-The Big Book-has served as a lifeline to millions worldwide.First published in 1939, Alcoholics Anonymous sets forth cornerstone concepts of recovery from alcoholism and tells the stories of men and women who have overcome the disease. A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking. But that would be in great measure. Perhaps this is a typical attitude. Discuss this with him when he is sober and in good spirits. We have tried to hold the love of our children for their father. It is probably true that you and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic. Drinkers will not stand for it. We couldnt duck the issue. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink? I am enclosing an attachment below of the books that the first 100 guys read before there was AA and a Big Book. Sometimes there were screaming delirium and insanity. There is a good bit of travel between East and West and we foresee a great increase in this helpful interchange. If we are sure our wife does not know, should we tell her? The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty. There are such unfortunates. There is, however a vast amount of fun about it all. Simply click on a word and all references in the . Sometimes he explodes over a trifle. We might prejudice them. Show him how they worked with you. We have seen men get well whose families have not returned at all. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done. These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. The chances are he will not for, like yourself, he is just beginning his development. I had commenced to drink as carelessly as though the cocktails were ginger ale. You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. Words contained within the first 164 pages of the Big Book. He made up his mind that until he had been successful in business and had retired, he would not touch another drop. May you find Him now! This may seem severe, but it is usually the best course. The firm wants to help you get over it, and if you are interested, there is a way out. Massage Envy Membership Cancellation, If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better. Our actor is self-centered-ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. But we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree. If he is not communicative, give him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit. I have a shadowy recollection of being in an airplane bound for New York and of finding a friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of my wife. Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. The employer can many times protect the victim from this kind of talk. Neither is reason, as most of us use it, entirely dependable, though it emanate from our best minds. I saw that growth could start from that point. In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. Feel better. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. If he wishes to talk, let him do so. Instead of treating the family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing. In another case, an alcoholic was sent to a hospital for treatment. (P) 8-a. On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. Self- knowledge would fix it. I ordered another sandwich and decided to have another glass of milk. It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. As non-denominational people, we cannot make up others minds for them. Many of us have heard of the Ninth Step Promises from page 83-84 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar. Understanding myself now, I fared forth in high hope. how many electrolyzers per hydrogen generator; 5-letter words containing g l a s; teach your child the word of god bible verse. There are exceptions. But it was a silly idea that we were too good to need God. I was aghast. Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk. It began to look as though religious people were right after all. Those who drink moderately may be more annoyed with an alcoholic than a total abstainer would be. They can hardly fail to approve these simple principles, though the head of the house still fails somewhat in practicing them. The first 164 pages, we are told, is what we need to know and do in order to become well adjusted, contributing members of society; to overcome spiritual bankruptcy and to be happy, joyous, and free. You may read it, make exact copies of it, and give the copies away This tool is useful when writing essays at university to determine how many pages you are required to write. Such a man would be crazy, wouldnt he? These work-outs should be regarded as part of your education, for thus you will be learning to live. Were not these things the tissue out of which our lives were constructed? Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Then only might I expect to receive. A new world came into view. 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